A little easier...

I think I miss my Mom. It can come on suddenly or build gradually, I never quite know what the vibe will be, but I just know it hits me sometimes. I was talking with someone the other day (more like crying at them) trying to figure out how to handle this. I can be perfectly fine for awhile and then I just crumble. Chris has to step in and pick me up or let me push my way through it for a bit and then I soon realize how great my life is and I snap out of it. Maybe if I just write about her a little, it might help...

What I miss about her the most today is just talking to her. We use to talk on the phone a lot and just to be clear, I would do all the talking. She could get me to tell stories and she always acted so interested. I knew I could get her to laugh or giggle if I wanted, I knew just what she thought would be funny. Other times she would listen to me worry over something silly or talk my way around something until I figured it out. She had an ever so slight way of guiding me through things that I never really realized until late in her life, when she started to lose her edge in that department because of the dementia. Anyways, that is what I miss tonight, that interaction with her. Even as she started to decline she always had the energy and where-with-all to pull it together for a little conversation with me. I may have just talked to my Dad about how she was having a hard day putting things together and how he was concerned about how she was holding up, but when he turned the phone over to her I knew she was okay when I heard her clear her throat before saying hello. She always did that, the clearing the throat thing was habitual before starting a conversation on the phone. I love that I knew that about her. These phone conversations helped me keep tabs on her when I wasn't able to make it over for a visit or she wasn't able to come here. But, the last week of her life she wouldn't talk to me on the phone anymore. Not a word. She was leaving me and I knew our relationship was changing, that was a hard road to cross. Many would say she is my angel now, and I believe this and find comfort in it, but I still miss those basic interactions I had with her. Ones that on a night like tonight, I would pick up the phone and tell my Mom a story or two about our week.

A story like how I woke up in the middle of last night to find Harrison fully awake in his room, light on, with Grey our cat playing a game of chase, jumping, running, you name it. Obviously I didn't realize Grey was in the room when I went to bed, but I suspect that Harrison knew all along and didn't tell me there was an extra guest in his room when I said goodnight to him. Sneaky, sneaky. The funny thing is I think they both enjoyed the little encounter. Grey tried to snuggle his way up to Harrison's door after I kicked him out of it, trying to charm his way back in. Harrison woke up this morning, late this morning, talking all about how Grey kitty slept by his feet and hid under the bed and how he tried to catch him. Then he ran downstairs and tried to find his furry little friend to relive the adventure. I'm afraid the daylight hours didn't quite hold the same effect as a mid-night rendezvous. Grey ran the other direction when he saw him. Great story, right? Well, at least she would have thought so...

Anyways, thanks for listening, that helped, I'll get up off of the couch now and I'm sure things will start to feel a little easier. :)

Summertime

Summertime with the Thomas Family looks something like this...

A summer tradition, Thomas the Tank in Midway.  (This is as close of a photo opp with Thomas that we could get, Harrison was not a fan of the train whistle.)

Oma thought Harrison looked so old here and I have to agree.  When did he turn into a little boy and not my baby?

And Carter pulling himself up now, not walking yet, but I'm not rushing it.

As Harrison refered to it, "Mother's Time" AKA Mother's Day.  Notice the candy necklace on my wrist and neck, compliments of Harrison.  Evidently he was pretty opinionated about what Mom would like for her present.

Harrison's soccer team.  By the end he was tackling kids on the field.  I have that to call improvement, I'll take it, not bad.

My baby is 1.  We had a great party...

However, he wasn't even slightly impressed by the cake...

Sad, it's my party and I'll cry if I want too!

It really can happen...

So Chris and I finally got away for a few days just by ourselves to Laguna Beach!!  A couple pics as proof below...

Laguna Beach tidepools...

It wasn't quite swimsuit weather yet, but I did manage to lounge by the beach and read anyways.

We got together with our good friends the Everys.  Sarah and I have been BFFs since kindergarden!

We decided to go to California Adventure one of the evenings!  Like quick-fast running through the park evening.  This is Chris in front of the Ferris Wheel that was our one regret, I get motion sickness and we went on the basket that rocks back and forth A LOT.  Ya, I'm a total wimp, ever since...well, long story.

This is us on the Hotel of Terror ride, can you see me gripping on to Chris for dear life.  I screamed like a "girl" the whole time.

It was awesome, special thanks to Amy and Dane for taking the boys while we were gone.  You guys rock!

Dad's Office

Harrison is obsessed with two things lately:  Legos and Dad's office.  So, it's only natural that he would combine the two.  Today, he was busy building Dad's office and this is what he came up with, very proud of it too.

Carter of course wanted to put "Dad's office" in his mouth.  The scene was not pretty, I had to intervene for the safety and sanity of both parties involved.  

Swine Flu or something like that...

This is me after a night and a day or fever, chills, vomiting and finally rest.  There's a reason you're only seeing my eyes, it just gets worse from there.  Pretty sure the swine flu (okay, I'm being dramatic) hit the Thomas house this weekend.  If by chance I passed it on to you, I AM SO SORRY!

PS - Harrison and Carter are doing fine, we've had better days, but we're hanging in there...

Easter

Easter was sooo fun!  I have a few pictures, but of course their not ready.  But, Harrison loved it and had a great time, 2 Easter egg hunts, basket in the morning, cute church outfit (his first tie, he was totally excited about) chocolate supply for awhile, and nice family dinner at the end.

We also had a great little FHE tonight to review the true meaning of Easter.  Here's how it went:

We had a paper cutout of Jesus' Tomb, with a rock cutout and a Jesus cutout and I was trying to show him what happened on Easter.  We went through the story and I felt like, whew, I think he kinda getting it.  He would move the rock away from the tomb and bring Jesus up through the tomb door and say, "Yay!"  I told him that's what Easter was all about.  You know, not bad for a 3 year-old.  He was a little confused and asked at one point, "Where's the Easter Bunny?"  Well, maybe we're not quite clear, but we're working on it.

For me, I have moved on from the Easter Bunny, and truly feel blessed to understand more fully what it's all about.  I loved the General Conference talk by Elder Holland, here is part of his Easter message.  His words about Christ were beautiful and inspired...

Happy Birthday!

Harrison's birthday - He's 3 and so big now.  He loved having his own birthday and all the attention that went with it.  The highlights were bowling with the family, Harrison wanting to give his presents to everyone else, the German Chocolate loveliness of a cake, having Oma come out especially for Harrison and just a celebration of Harrison and the special boy that he is.  I could just tell he loved every minute of the day and all the little surprises that came with it.  I am blessed to have a family that loves my child and supports Chris and I in all our efforts...thank you!

"I'm supposed to blow out the candles and I practiced and practiced, but when it came time I got scared and had to have Mom help."  

Love the cake!

Yes, that's a Ute soccer ball, given to him by his Oma.  I can't really say anything about that, I was just excited that she travelled all the way out for the birthday. ;)

Look how pleased he looks!

What to blog about?

So many things to blog about, Harrison's birthday, trip to So. Utah, General Conference weekend, or the my husband's reaction to the end of March Madness. I'll go with the last one, I'm sitting on the couch with him, and the "One Shining Moment" song comes on at the end the game with a video montage. Here's how it goes:

Me: What's this song? It's totally cheesy.
Chris: "One Shining Moment"
Me: Is this like a traditional song? It sounds really old and very "adult contemporary."
Chris: Shhh. Yes. (Turns up the volume.)
Me: Interesting, it's pretty "corny" if you ask me.
Chris: Sniffle. Sniffle.

Maybe I can blog about the more important things soon.

Clearing the air

Since I can't get onto the "Moon Lighting" blog, because my husband is the ONLY one that wrote on it, I thought I would try and clear the air on my own blog.   

1) Anything written on that blog was pretty much false, if in doubt, don't believe it.  Chris was just having a grand old time making things up and Amy did not get botox, or gamble, or ditch church or any of the other silly little things Chris dreamed up.

2) If you do gamble, get botox, watch rated-R movied, ditch church occasionally.  PLEASE do not be offended, by my husband's humor.  

3) Amy, thanks for being a good sport.  I'm sure you're wondering how on earth you got mixed up with the Thomas family.

4) Brian Wright is in no way associated with the doings of the "Moon Lighting" blog.  Poor guy just lives in close proximity and has been involved in other pranks.  My guess is Chris was trying to throw a curve ball and stir the pot a little more and add to the confusion.  

5) My involvement was minimal, as it usually is, I was:

a. Sworn to secrecy

b. Guilty of a few giggles

c.  Guilty of occasionally letting him make comments under my name

I think that covers it...for now.

Go Utes! and cougars?

I'm disappointed, Harrison is a Ute fan, it's official.  At the ripe old age of 3, he's completely immersed in the wonderful world of sports and Chris insists he has nothing to do with his affinity for the U and tries to remain neutral.  Like a three year old can really decide all of this on his own.  Sigh, how does a BYU alum that not a big sports fan try to make up for the fact that Harrison has already been or watched on TV numerous sporting events for the U?  I make things up...

Here's the scene, Harrison and I are outside swinging and chatting a couple of weeks ago.  Our neighbors come outside in blue T-shirts.  Now, these T-shirts were not Cougar shirts, they just happened to be a nice "Cougar blue." It's so rare to see anything or anyone in a Cougar blue around here that I seize the opportunity.  

I say to Harrison, "Joni likes the Cougars..." 

Harrison looked over and pauses as he takes in the scene, finally he agrees, "Joni likes the Cougars."

I lead a little further, "Joni likes the cougars, does Harrison like the cougars too?

Looks at me, no hesitation, "No, Harrison likes Utah." 

I later relay the story to Chris as evidence that my child is being unfairly persuaded.  Chris, of course, not very sympathetic only remarks, "Does Joni know she likes the cougars?"  Okay, maybe I took unfair advantage of our good neighbor, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  

Harrison has asked for a chocolate football and soccer cake for his little family birthday party and oh ya, he wants a U on it.  Where does he come up with this stuff?  I ordered it today,  I filled all of his requests, but I did ask them to put a small Y on it somewhere.  I'm not giving in just yet, I have a little bit of Cougar Pride left in me.  Didn't have much while I actually attended the Y, but this feels personal.  Can you blame me?

Ah, cute...

We've had a pretty good day, hanging out around the house.  Grandpa came over to help me with a little project, he's my very own handy man and I don't know what I'd do without him.  Well, while he worked away I tried to keep the boys entertained or should I say it was the other way around.  Soon enough Harrison's favorite blankets came out and it was time to "tuck, tuck" everyone in for a pretend nap.  A favorite past time...

Harrison tucked in...

Carter tucked in, this is his FAVORITE blanket...I wish it was cuter.  Mental note, if you consistently just use "any old blanket" laying around, your little one may pick it as their best friend.  So much for an heirloom quality hand-me-down on this one.

And yes, the cat.  

Harrison decided that our cat, "Grey Kitty," needed to take a nap.  So, he tucked him in with his blankets and baby bear and bless that cat's heart, he put up with it.  I was amazed, I knew Grey was a pretty good cat, but now I'm convinced he was meant for our little family.  Thanks for being a good sport Grey, extra cat food for you (light cat food that is...).