Reflections...

I just want to retell an experience I had not that long after Grayson was born. It was Sunday and it had been one of those non-stop weekends that comes with the birth of a baby and getting adjusted to the new "normal" of life with a new baby in our little nest. Chris was exhausted and ended up staying home from church to catch up on sleep and the boys were restless and needed to get out even if Mom and Dad were tired. So, I took them to church with me. Everything was going smoothly or so I thought until....A nice older woman from church started talking to me about Grayson. She was being so sweet to him and I. Her voice was tender and loving as she said things like, "Momma, you are doing such a good job. Look at this beautiful baby boy. You are taking such good care of him. What a blessing." Like I said I thought I was fine, but as she kept going on and on I soon had great big tears rolling down my face. I excused myself and somehow found my way to the restroom. Why had I done that? Why on earth would I break down with this woman I hardly knew? I thought I was fine, sure a little tired, but fine. Well, I carried myself through church and home again and began to think about what was going on. Sure enough, it was my mother. I missed her. So much. And those tender whisperings to my new son and I were exactly what my mother would have said to me if she were here physically, in the flesh. The funny thing is that it wasn't a sad experience for me three years later now after her passing, but rather a reminder of what a wonderful mother I had and that as much as I miss her I will always find pieces of her through the women I come in contact with in the course of my life. No, nothing will replace her. But, I had a dear mother who was tender and loving with me and oh so, encouraging when I needed it. Was it a coincidence that this woman struck a chord with me that Sunday morning? I think you know the answer. No, I believe my mother is still watching over me and around me as I raise these boys. The last words she said directly to me were, "Go take care of those boys." I know she loves them and is mindful of me as I perform my duties as a mother.

You are probably wondering what happened to the woman at church? Well, she lives right next door and she called over here after church that day. By then I was resting and Chris was on his shift with the boys. He explained my situation and how touched I was by her words and that it was a sweet reminder of my mother and she understood. The next day her husband showed up with homemade bread and pie. And we've become great friends and neighbors. I am so blessed to be surrounded by good people and women in particular. I am so blessed to have had a wonderful mother that taught me so much and even though I can't pick up the phone and call her right now; I know she is there and I am so grateful for that. The women I laugh and cry with remind me of her gifts. The women I love and admire remind me of her courage. When I make my mistakes and need to repair and rebuild, I am reminded of her too. I still love her so much and miss her, but now I realize I'll never really be without her either. She will always be close to me, even if it is through an awkward moment at church. Oh well, thanks Mom.

Grayson's blessing

Dear Grayson,

Today was your baby blessing and I thought it would be fun to tell you about the day and its preparation. Such an important and fun occasion. One of your first big days in our family with many to come.

Let's start by talking about Saturday, which also happened to be the day before the Super Bowl. I went to Costco and took your older brother Carter with me to load up on all the goods for the day. It was a mad house and I may want to mention here that not only was it your going to be your blessing day with brunch following after, but we were also gearing up for the traditional "Super Bill" party for your Aunt Amy to follow after (her nickname is Bill and it's her birthday too). So yes, I loaded up that oversized grocery cart and made my way through the crowds, but not without a trip to the potty for Carter who really was such a good and patient boy. Then headed home and began the task of actually sorting and storing that huge amount of food I had just purchased. The list included, but was not limited to, an insane amount of fruit, several dozen eggs, a huge box of hash browns, 10 or so dozen donut holes and 8 cartons of OJ. Are you starting to catch the vision of next 24-36 hours ahead? All for you Grayson, all for you.

Once home I cleaned up and started the food prep which also includes my amazing idea for a donut hole tree (insert amazing photo here at a later date). How long does a donut hole tree take to make you may ask? Well, when you sit down and have your willing Oma and Aunt to giggle and chat it up with, not that long. And really, how much fun are rainbow sprinkle donut holes. Bright and cheery for your special day, because after all, you are such a sweet and cheery spirit to have in our home. Once we accomplished the fruit prep eventually the egg and hash brown casserole prep takes shape, but now we're edging up on around midnight. The house is smoky from bacon frying and hash browning with Dad and me as the lone persons awake. You nodded off a few hours ago, sweet boy. To bed, to bed, must sleep a little before our 9 o-clock church call.

The morning goes smoothly, Grandpa arrives safe and sound and extra early to make sure he doesn't miss your big day. Other family follows suit, uncles, close friends and even a cousin-in-law to hold you in that special circle at church. They bless you with all the strength and blessings that you deserve as a dear child of God. Oh, you are loved and adored with your brown curly hair and bright blue eyes. I'm a little tearful and thankful for the opportunity to raise you up in our little family. Your blessing mentions that you will have the desire to honor me but, I am already so honored to be your mother. I stand before the congregation and give a brief and tearful testimony of gratitude and faith, so grateful. I mustn't forget your brothers, they were so good today. Carter kept wanting to be by you, because he knew this was your special day. He would whisper to you how you were going to get a blessing by Dad and he folded his arms so reverently while the blessing was being said, such a good boy today. Harrison sat next to Oma and soaked up all her attention, he loves his Oma and sat quietly through the meeting. I remember looking at him and thinking how he wasn't a baby that long ago either. Time is a fleeting thing.

Afterwards, I head off to finish up the preparations for the brunch with a crowd of people following closely behind. It's a blur, but long story short you nap eventually and soon I am napping alongside you and have a slight headache from all the commotion and not remembering to eat a plate of food myself. Your Dad cleans up for the next round of guests and food prep, pretty sure the rainbow sprinkle donut holes were not his favorite item of the day. He says he spent much of the time vacuuming up sprinkles from all sorts of nooks and crannies in the house. Oh Dad, what a good guy. Bright and cheery though, would not have it any other way.

Next round, Super Bowl 2012. Your Dad thought it was a good omen to bless you on Super Bowl Sunday. What? Joking, no pressure, just grow up healthy and strong and we'll be thrilled. Now this production involved some pretty amazing food from the Thomas ladies. I pretty much shuffle around the kitchen offering a helping hand here and there and tasting whatever strikes my fancy. The island bar is covered in food and people are coming and going as they please, which is nice and casual. Talk is light and comfortable, very nice. Someday when your older you'll enjoy the occasion a little more, but for this one you were a little cranky from a full day. I soothed you and rocked you too sleep and eventually you were down again and peaceful.

What a wonderful and full day, something to remember when you are grown and big. You are a blessing and a joy. Thank you for being my beautiful baby boy.

Love,

Mom