Reflections...

I just want to retell an experience I had not that long after Grayson was born. It was Sunday and it had been one of those non-stop weekends that comes with the birth of a baby and getting adjusted to the new "normal" of life with a new baby in our little nest. Chris was exhausted and ended up staying home from church to catch up on sleep and the boys were restless and needed to get out even if Mom and Dad were tired. So, I took them to church with me. Everything was going smoothly or so I thought until....A nice older woman from church started talking to me about Grayson. She was being so sweet to him and I. Her voice was tender and loving as she said things like, "Momma, you are doing such a good job. Look at this beautiful baby boy. You are taking such good care of him. What a blessing." Like I said I thought I was fine, but as she kept going on and on I soon had great big tears rolling down my face. I excused myself and somehow found my way to the restroom. Why had I done that? Why on earth would I break down with this woman I hardly knew? I thought I was fine, sure a little tired, but fine. Well, I carried myself through church and home again and began to think about what was going on. Sure enough, it was my mother. I missed her. So much. And those tender whisperings to my new son and I were exactly what my mother would have said to me if she were here physically, in the flesh. The funny thing is that it wasn't a sad experience for me three years later now after her passing, but rather a reminder of what a wonderful mother I had and that as much as I miss her I will always find pieces of her through the women I come in contact with in the course of my life. No, nothing will replace her. But, I had a dear mother who was tender and loving with me and oh so, encouraging when I needed it. Was it a coincidence that this woman struck a chord with me that Sunday morning? I think you know the answer. No, I believe my mother is still watching over me and around me as I raise these boys. The last words she said directly to me were, "Go take care of those boys." I know she loves them and is mindful of me as I perform my duties as a mother.

You are probably wondering what happened to the woman at church? Well, she lives right next door and she called over here after church that day. By then I was resting and Chris was on his shift with the boys. He explained my situation and how touched I was by her words and that it was a sweet reminder of my mother and she understood. The next day her husband showed up with homemade bread and pie. And we've become great friends and neighbors. I am so blessed to be surrounded by good people and women in particular. I am so blessed to have had a wonderful mother that taught me so much and even though I can't pick up the phone and call her right now; I know she is there and I am so grateful for that. The women I laugh and cry with remind me of her gifts. The women I love and admire remind me of her courage. When I make my mistakes and need to repair and rebuild, I am reminded of her too. I still love her so much and miss her, but now I realize I'll never really be without her either. She will always be close to me, even if it is through an awkward moment at church. Oh well, thanks Mom.