The other night we went over to my parent's house to spend some time with my Dad. He has been understandably grieving and wanted us to spend some time over there, all of us. I knew this would be a little hard for me, not that I haven't been over there since my mother's passed, but this time was the first time I brought Harrison and Carter with me.
As we approached the door, I was holding Harrison's little hand, I asked, "Whose house are we at Harrison?" He obediently and knowingly answered, "Grandma's house." This was tough, I knew what he was anticipating, walking in the door, running over to his Grandma, giving her a hug and running off to play with her. My heart ached...
I'm grateful we went when there was lots of family there, my brother and his family, my sister, all there to entertain and distract Harrison from what I think he noticed. When your two, how does that work? Harrison gets upset when his teddy bear isn't in his bed at night or his blanket is missing. How does he process that all of a sudden his grandma isn't talking to him on the phone everyday and playing with him when we go to her house and now, she's not there at all.
It sucks really, I mean, I get it. We'll be reunited after this life, but for this life it just kinda sucks don't you think? You want your children to be exposed to your parents, with all their quirks and imperfections there are the great things too. And, let's not forget, who else loves your children as much as you do, that's right, their grandparents. OK, I know this is turning into a pity party and I promise to stop. My mother would give me a little sympathy here, but also she'd try and turn it around.
So, here's the turning point. I am blessed. No really, I AM BLESSED.
1. I am married to an amazing man, it's obvious right. The one thing I count my lucky stars about in life is that I married Chris.
2. I have an awesome family. Some of you may know I can be a bit cranky, stubborn, sarcastic, I can go on, well I have a family that puts up with it and helps me through it. Sometimes they even put me in my place. You all know who you are, and I thank you for it. The babysitting, the long talks, help around the house, just the general support I feel from loved ones. Thank you.
3. My boys rock. I can't say enough here. Only that when I hear Harrison calling out, "MOM!" and Carter squeals with delight every time he catches my eye...my heart skips a beat.
4. I love being a mom. It's hard work, it's challenging, I love it. It's like learning a new skill set and taking a new career path. I really think I can be successful at this, let's hope so.
5. I have great friends. I enjoy the talks on the phone, the lunch and shopping dates, the play dates. Whatever, a good friend is hard to come by and I'm blessed to have the ones I do.
6. I am loved. I could go on and on about this, from spiritual and earthly perspectives, I know this.
Whew. So, I hope I turned things around here a little. My Mom would be proud, I hope she is. Thanks for listening.