This moment

So, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here, maybe at a later date.  But, my mother passed away 3 days ago.  It seems like it has been so much longer, like I've been living in slow motion over the last few days. I'm painfully tired, but at this moment I'm grateful to feel the way I do.  I'm not going to lie, I've struggled over the last few months, even years I guess you could say over the condition of my mother's health and tonight I finally feel like she has been released.  Released from the harness of her own physical body, released from her constant battle to keep herself together when I know it was so difficult.  So, for this tonight, I am truly grateful.  Honestly it is the first time over the past few days where I haven't been tormented by my own grief and in this moment I'm able to look past myself and see things from her perspective.  She is released...finally.  

So when my faith falters and I miss her so dearly or start to have little "Pity Parties" about how much I wish she was here with me, I pledge to look back on this post and remind myself of this moment and this feeling.  I'm so truly happy for her...